Thoughts on figuring it out, last meals, and authenticity
(A note for readers: This blog post touches on topics of authenticity and “being yourself.” I know not everyone feels safe to show up as themselves in this world or are able to do so. I also acknowledge my privilege as a white woman has shaped the experiences and perspectives I talk about in this blog post.)
As I’ve been writing lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my “from there to here” journey. If you’ve been a reader from the beginning (when I was “oliviaadamspr”), you’ll know that I’ve been on this blogging train for a while.
Today, I’m in a different spot and my goal for writing these days is to have a creative outlet, build a writing habit, rediscover my voice, and hopefully connect with more amazing humans along the way.
So as part of this journey, I’m going to unravel some thoughts I’ve had lately about authenticity and how we show up in our lives and at work.
It all starts with a thing called “personal branding” I discovered as a college student around 2012-2014 and how it became my identity. And then, I’ll share a little bit about what I did to let go of that identity, worry less about figuring it out, and become more of myself.
You know, really human things we all go through.
A personal brand is born
Personal branding was “the thing” a decade ago when I was a senior in college. We were told we needed a “personal brand” to stand out when applying for jobs.
At that time, personal branding meant starting a blog, spiffying up a resume, and even getting professional headshots. LinkedIn was still pretty new at the time, too.
Some of us even went above and beyond to design logos for our names and pick out a color palette.
Dug up from the Facebook vault — summer 2014. Not sure what’s going on with the muted purple and coral!
Me being who I am, I was *clearly* all about personal branding. A planner, perfectionist, and high achiever by nature, I wanted to position myself the best way I possibly could to hopefully land a coveted “dream” job.
Once graduation came and went, the journey of building life without a syllabus began. And it had a strong focus on figuring out what the heck am I going to do with my “one wild and precious life.”
When I started blogging in college, it was mostly a platform for building my career and “personal brand.”
However, “personal branding” began to stir a lot of uncertainty in me when it came to figuring out what I wanted to be known for.
You know — finding purpose and the whole “love what you do, do what you love” thing. I really struggled with figuring out what I wanted to be known for because I had no idea what that was!
I’m sure I share this feeling with the majority of people who went through their 20s (or are currently in them).
For most of my 20s, all I had was this incredibly fierce craving to find my purpose and was grasping at every piece of advice and wisdom I could get.
Figuring it out (but not really)
Something eventually clicked when I approached the magical age of 30 where “figuring it out” and “finding my purpose” mattered less to me.
Instead, I found myself getting more curious about my values and the things that make me “me.”
So to help tell the story of “figuring it out” I thought I’d get a little help from Tom Hanks.
Yesterday, my boyfriend sent me an episode of Mythical Kitchen’s Last Meals featuring an interview with Tom Hanks. If you’re not familiar with Mythical Kitchen’s, I recommend watching, especially if you’re a foodie!
During the episode, Josh (the talented self-taught chef and interviewer), presents Tom Hanks with his “Last Meal” cooked from scratch. I’ll let you watch the episode to see what Tom Hanks would eat for his last meal, but the conversation was truly gold.
First off, Tom Hanks is as wholesome as they come. Just an all around down-to-earth human.
The interview covered all sorts of topics, but the main focus was questions around finding meaning in life and exploring views on death (while eating a last meal). Deep stuff!
What was cool, though, was Tom Hanks shared how he’s spent his life more focused on accepting its mysteries rather than finding all of the answers.
And when Josh asked him if he was happy, Tom Hanks said he was “content” because happiness comes and goes.
So much wisdom!
What I liked about the interview was that it showed how a famous actor shares the same humanity has the rest of us. Now — this blog post isn’t about comparing my non-celebrity life to the life of Tom Hanks but it showed me how that at some point, we eventually get comfortable with not having the answers.
Stepping into authenticity
I think authenticity is a special and powerful word. It’s something a lot of us strive for but it’s also one of the most challenging things to do in a world that pulls us in many different directions.
Fast forward to 2019, everything I thought I knew about authenticity changed. I thought I had a good grasp on myself, but I discovered there were so many parts of me I hadn’t realized or accepted yet.
I was searching for a new job and a trusted mentor gave me the simplest and most memorable career advice that I carry with me today:
“Be yourself.”
This advice came via text just before an interview for I job I wanted so badly. It somehow was very comforting and reminded me about what really matters about the life I’m trying to build.
So in that interview, I tried something different. I did my very best to show up as Olivia. Not only “resume Olivia” but the whole Olivia.
The Olivia who feels all the feels. The person who one day dreams of running her own business. Someone who wants to have a family and a career. Someone who has a strong desire to have a sense of belonging at work. A person who loves community and cares about our shared humanity.
This openness helped me find one of the most special places I ever landed in my career and taught me the most valuable lesson: be yourself and they will love you exactly as you are.
Since then, I have been committed to showing up as me everywhere I go whether it’s in real-life or online. However, it hasn’t been easy. It’s actually really hard. No matter where you go in life, there will always be jobs, people, or opinions that will try to influence you to change or stray from your path. As humans, we are challenged everyday with how to balance being ourselves with those external things.
The future self looks backward
What has helped me find clarity in this journey is a little reflection I do where I imagine 80-year-old Olivia sitting on a bench near Lake Michigan watching the sunset. While she’s on that bench taking in the sunset, she’s thinking about what she hopes she’s remembered for when she’s no longer here.
She tells herself that all she wants to be remembered for is how much she loved her people. For how she showed up and tried her best to give kindness and compassion everywhere she went.
And that she went for it.
She pushed through her fears and gave even her wildest dreams a try.
Between learning more about my values and imagining grandma Olivia watching a sunset, I have shifted how I interact with the world, set boundaries, and trust my gut. It’s shaped how I show up as myself every day.
And it’s been really special when someone notices, because every once in a while, humans need a little validation that we are exactly who the world needs.
